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FaceBook Status / Funny FaceBook status, messages, quotes - FaceBook statuses funnyRate
 Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
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 Necessity relieves us from the problem of choosing
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 I`m not short, gravity just really likes me.
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 That awkward moment when you are in the store and you see your teacher....
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 The best meeting of the day is when you meet your bed
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 Do not run from a sniper. You’ll die tired
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 Sclerosis can not be cured, but you can forget about it
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 Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
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 Never give wise advice to idiots. They might follow it
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 Even if you give cacao to a cow, you can’t get a chocolate
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 My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It`s freaking 2011, I`ll rent a boat
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 Dear "do not try this at home"⁰Okay! I`ll go to my neighbor`s house .
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 That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been pronouncing a word wrong your whole life
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 Properly fixed patient does not need anesthesia
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 When a diplomat says “yes” it means “perhaps”. When he says “perhaps” this means “no”. And if he says “no”, he’s not a diplomat
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 We live only once but we can’t be sure even about that
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 You know you`re stoned when you look at your dog and ask "did you say something? "
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 It's not the fall that
kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
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 that moment when you`re trying to do hula hoop but you end up shaking your hips like Shakira wannabe.
[ -1 ]
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 Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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 Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; in fact I’m not sure about the universe
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 You can`t face the problem if the problem is your face.
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 69% of people who read this think of something sexual. :)
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 The quieter the child in the next room, the more expensive the repair will cost
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 Behave, What you do today will be on Facebook tomorrow.
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 Just remember... if the
world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
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 If swimming is an exerciser explain whales to me.
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 Of course your husband has a lot of drawbacks! If he had none, he would never marry you
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 One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)
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 The last thing I want to do
is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
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 Make somebody happy today. Mind your own business :)
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 Marriage is when the two can not live neither together nor without each other
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 Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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 I always feel like I just passed my "Best If Used By" date.
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 That awkward moment when you keep talking & you don`t realize your friend walked away.
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 Every idiot can paint but only smart person can sell it
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 Web search engines are like people in life – they give answers to questions they do not understand
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 Unlucky is my middle name.
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 I`m not single, I`m just romantically challenged.
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 My back is not a voice mail. If you got something to say, say it to my face.
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 everybody sounds asian when they sneeze .
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 The only lesson of the history is that people never learn their lessons from the history
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 I am a ninja.. No you`re not.. Did you just see me do that? Do what? ... Exactly.
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 There’s nothing more amazing but women’s brain
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 I didn`t fall... I attacked the floor.
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 I read that the most talented people are lazy. I’m a talent, no doubt!
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 I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT..
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 I want to die peacefully in
my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers
in his car.
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 The Hardest Desicion of Our Childhood: Charmander, Squirtle or Baulbasaur.
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 Time heals the wounds of the stupid and mind heals the wounds of the smart
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 When asked “What would you bring with you to a deserted island”, how come no one ever replies, “A boat. ”?
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 Light travels faster than
sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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 When i was little i used to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up in bed, now I pass out on the sofa and wake up on the floor!
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 A reproduction of people is the task of a photographer
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 I didn't say it was your
fault, I said I was blaming you.
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 Hitting every button to stop the last message on your phone from being sent.
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 I did in bed... I did it on the couch... I did it in the car... Texting is such an obsession. :)
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 Never fight with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
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 Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
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 Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
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 Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives.
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 That awkward moment when you realize you were talking to yourself.
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 Advise and you will get rid of unnecessary people
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 I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience…
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 They say “don’t drink and drive” but yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. It made me feel dangerous!
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 I remember when my bestfriend was shy and quiet, I created a monster. :D
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 My room is not messy. It`s an obstacle course designed by me to keep me fit ;).
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 Girl: "I`m breaking up with u. " Boy: "Ok, can I get a last hug? " *Girl hugs boy* Girl: "Wait, are u covered in glue? " Boy: "Heh.. " ;)
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 Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear make up and boys lie.
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 I am a vegetarian and I am against using alcohol, so I can find a better use for my mind
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 There are idlers that want to have money without working and fools that are ready to work without becoming rich
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 Traveling develops brains. If you have them
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 I’ve always wondered why the worst men attract the best women?
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 That Awkward Moment when santa has the same wrapping paper as your mom.
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 Excuse me is your last name Gillette? …because you are the best a man can get!
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A Facebook status is an update feature which allows users to discuss their thoughts, whereabouts, or important information with their friends. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. Facebook status is one of the key interactive features on Facebook. It allows users to receive information about what their friends are doing, reading, watching or thinking, and provides opportunities for friends to comment and interact based on what is shared. All statuses in this site is in English language.