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FaceBook Status / Funny FaceBook status, messages, quotes - FaceBook statuses funnyRate
 If a friend of yours refused to lend you 50 dollars, most probably he knows you very well
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 Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook talking never updates anything.
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 I think the pants is more important for men than a wife. There are many places where you can safely go without wife. Where can you go without pants?
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 Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
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 Just remember... if the
world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
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 "this movie isn`t even scary! " *Based on a true story* "Oh shit. "
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 My parents used to be happy when I took naps… but now they think I`m lazy.
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 "awhh. u have grown so much! i remember when u were just a little babyy! " "who are u!? "
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 Marriage is great thing both for lovers and the saints
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 Yeah, you look alright... from a distance... at night... behind a wall :)
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 My mom says I never finish anyth
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 I must be wishing on someone else`s star because it seems someone else is always getting what I wished for.
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 Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
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 All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
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 that moment when you`re trying to do hula hoop but you end up shaking your hips like Shakira wannabe.
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 If my father was a little braver, I would have been three years older
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 The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.
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 That Awkward Moment when you see a ten year old with a better phone than you.
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 When your love is unrequited, you want to apologize to all who desperately loved you
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 Just imagine the silence in the world, if people talked only what they knew
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 There is no CTRL Button on Chuck Norris’ Keyboard, because he is always in control.
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 "There`s plenty other fish in the sea. ".... "I`m human, why would I want to date a fish?
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 GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
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 Hurting yourself and not being able to swear, because your parents are there.
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 "I wasnt that Drunk". Dude, you stared at a box of juice because it said: Concentrated.
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 Dear yellow traffic light, Challenge accepted. Sincerely, a driver ready to get home.
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 You can see a black object in a white room with no windows but u cant see a white object in a black room with no windows, color is so Racist
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 Hitting the snooze button several times then complaining because you`re running late.
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 Don`t bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up... I will lick you.
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 I wanted to send you something sexy but the mailman told me to get out of the postbox.
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 It’s difficult to be satisfied with little money but it’s even more difficult to be satisfied with much money
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 I do not understand volunteer idiots
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 That awkward moment when you go to grab somebody sexy and tell them ‘hey’, but your hand hits the mirror.
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 I wish my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply! (^^, )
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 Hey, Remember When I Told You Not To Tell Anyone? Thanks For Doing The Exact Opposite...
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 There are no stupid questions, just stupid people..
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 If I promise to miss you, will you get the hell out of here ??
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 Girls, at least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture there.
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 If life give you lemons, squirt your enemy’s eye..
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 Smoking is harmful, but I do not want to die healthy
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 Of course your husband has a lot of drawbacks! If he had none, he would never marry you
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 God made women beautiful so that men could love them and stupid so that that they could love men
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 That awkward moment when someone catches you making weird faces at yourself in the mirror.
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 Jealousy is the wittiest passion and still the greatest stupidity
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 All diseases have two drugs either to drink or stop drinking…
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 I was happy. I was in love. But then I woke up
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 When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later back on. its an endless cycle..
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 "But I love you, " is better than "I love you but"
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 If you want to know the shortcomings of a girl, praise her in front of her friends
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 When a package says "Easy Open" I end up using scissors, a knife, a gun and a lightsaber..
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 Father opens the school card & sees all bad grades. “What do u have 2 say about this, son? ” “Well, Dad, at least you know I’m not cheating! ”
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 Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.
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 It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
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 "Why do you talk so fast? " "Why do you listen so slow? "
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 Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does :-)
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 Final decision is a decision that you make until your wife decided everything
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 If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
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 That akward moment, when you spill something at someones house... :P
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 I bet that in prison everyone’s FB relationship status is set to it’s complicated.
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 Saying "oh! " like you get it. But you still have no idea..
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 War does not determine who
is right - only who is left.
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 Hi, I`m a bra. And I touch your girlfriends boobs everyday. Jealous yet?
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 Mom:"You got a package! " "Thanks, Mom! "...... *pop pop pop pop pop pop pop* Mom:"What are you doing?? " "Popping bubble wrap! "
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 Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
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 Necessity relieves us from the problem of choosing
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 I`m not short, gravity just really likes me.
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 That awkward moment when you are in the store and you see your teacher....
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 The best meeting of the day is when you meet your bed
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 Do not run from a sniper. You’ll die tired
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 Sclerosis can not be cured, but you can forget about it
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 Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
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 Never give wise advice to idiots. They might follow it
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 Even if you give cacao to a cow, you can’t get a chocolate
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 My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It`s freaking 2011, I`ll rent a boat
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 Dear "do not try this at home"⁰Okay! I`ll go to my neighbor`s house .
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A Facebook status is an update feature which allows users to discuss their thoughts, whereabouts, or important information with their friends. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. Facebook status is one of the key interactive features on Facebook. It allows users to receive information about what their friends are doing, reading, watching or thinking, and provides opportunities for friends to comment and interact based on what is shared. All statuses in this site is in English language.