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FaceBook Status / Funny FaceBook status, messages, quotes - FaceBook statuses funnyRate
 When asked “What would you bring with you to a deserted island”, how come no one ever replies, “A boat. ”?
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 Light travels faster than
sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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 When i was little i used to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up in bed, now I pass out on the sofa and wake up on the floor!
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 A reproduction of people is the task of a photographer
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 I didn't say it was your
fault, I said I was blaming you.
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 Hitting every button to stop the last message on your phone from being sent.
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 I did in bed... I did it on the couch... I did it in the car... Texting is such an obsession. :)
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 Never fight with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
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 Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
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 Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
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 Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives.
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 That awkward moment when you realize you were talking to yourself.
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 Advise and you will get rid of unnecessary people
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 I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience…
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 They say “don’t drink and drive” but yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. It made me feel dangerous!
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 I remember when my bestfriend was shy and quiet, I created a monster. :D
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 My room is not messy. It`s an obstacle course designed by me to keep me fit ;).
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 Girl: "I`m breaking up with u. " Boy: "Ok, can I get a last hug? " *Girl hugs boy* Girl: "Wait, are u covered in glue? " Boy: "Heh.. " ;)
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 Necessity relieves us from the problem of choosing
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 Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear make up and boys lie.
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 I am a vegetarian and I am against using alcohol, so I can find a better use for my mind
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 There are idlers that want to have money without working and fools that are ready to work without becoming rich
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 Traveling develops brains. If you have them
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 I’ve always wondered why the worst men attract the best women?
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 That Awkward Moment when santa has the same wrapping paper as your mom.
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 Excuse me is your last name Gillette? …because you are the best a man can get!
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 Mind sometimes helps to do stupid things
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 If wealth was a value in heaven it would not be given to bastards on earth
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 It’s difficult for men. When they meet a woman of their dreams she already has a husband and a lover
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 The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.
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 A man can be happy with any woman if he does not love her
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 MY ALARM CLOCK IS A DREAM KILLER.
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 Age is just a number. Yeah, 911 is too.
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 I`m naked... under my clothes. :)
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 We never really grow up, we
only learn how to act in public.
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 If sex is a pain in the
ass, then you're doing it wrong...
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 Why is abbreviation such a long word?
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 The awkward moment when your friends are talking about something you don`t know about, and you`re just sitting there.
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 Dieting is a lot like a relationship, it's ok to cheat when your drunk
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 Check this one out............. 1. :)
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 Child: Mom, I love you! Mom: I love you too. :) - Teenager: Mom, I love you! Mom: Yes, what do you want? :P
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 It’s all the same to have a husband or be tied
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 Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
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 Did you know that dolphins
are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to
stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
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 Do not make the same stupidity twice, the choice is big enough
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 Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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 To create something valuable one should not only work hard, but be extremely lazy
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 That awkward moment when you see a bunch people from school hanging out at the mall & you’re there with your mom.
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 The awkward moment when a little kids stares at you like you have done something wrong.
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 Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
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 In America, we will eventually have a President that used to play Pokemon as a child. Scary.
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 Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like SHAKIRA :)
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 Yelling "run forest, run! " when you see someone running.
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 If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS
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 Thought depends on one’s stomach. Those with the best stomachs are not always the best thinkers
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 There`s a fine line between wearing makeup or just looking like you got gang banged by Crayola.
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 "I wasn`t that Drunk" . "Dude, you congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story. "
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 The awkward moment when you`re reading someone`s shirt and it looks like you`re staring at their boobs...
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 We live only once but we can’t be sure even about that
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 There’s time to work and there’s time to love. There’s no other time left
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 Without me it`s just AWESO
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 It’s good being a guest. You are fed better
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 When the light is off, all women are fair
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 The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
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 When in doubt, mumble.
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 Do you have the time? ………………… O No, the time to write down my number? :)
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 Everything`s funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
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 You never know what you have until..... you clean your room.
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 The awkward moment when you realise yelling at a film/tv show won`t help.
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 While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
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 Don`t forget that the cow goes moo... the duck goes quack quack... and the night club goes, oontz oontz oontz oontz!
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 Stupid people are awesome, they make life interesting.. :)
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 I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste :)
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 Genie: i will grant you 3 wishes what is your 1st? Guy: More wishes! Genie: A Genie can only grant 3 wishes. Guy: More Genies! Genie: F*ck.
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 There’s no black humor, because there’s no white humor either
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A Facebook status is an update feature which allows users to discuss their thoughts, whereabouts, or important information with their friends. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. Facebook status is one of the key interactive features on Facebook. It allows users to receive information about what their friends are doing, reading, watching or thinking, and provides opportunities for friends to comment and interact based on what is shared. All statuses in this site is in English language.