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FaceBook Status / Funny FaceBook status, messages, quotes - FaceBook statuses funnyRate
 Truth is what each of us should tell the police
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 When asked “What would you bring with you to a deserted island”, how come no one ever replies, “A boat. ”?
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 If winning isn't everything
why do they keep score?
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 Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out "the rapist" Sincerely, not lying down.
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 Roses Are Red

Violets are Red

Grass is Red

Ohh! Shit! There is a fire in my Backyard
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 If you want to make a joke tell the truth. There’s nothing more funny
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 Facebook is a crazy house People poke each other all day have an imaginary pet farm and talk to walls
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 The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
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 Today I laugh more often than I did in youth. It appears I simply do not judge people any more
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 History always tells a story.. That`s why you must always clear it before your dad uses the computer...!!!
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 I had a life, then me and the Internet became friends...
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 Money can`t buy happiness? Who ever said that did not know where to shop.
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 When washing dishes 98% of people think “Gosh, there’s also a pan to wash!
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 That awkward moment when you are in the store and you see your teacher....
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 For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. :)
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 Cell phones should have the option to change "airplane mode" to "drunk mode" that way my drunk texts never leave my phone...
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 When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later back on. its an endless cycle..
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 The awkward moment when your just chilling in your room and doby appears and tells you not to go to hogwarts
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 God likes idiots. That’s why he created them so much
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 Re-doing a high five until you get it right!!
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 When a man is tired, he does not want to talk about it. This is what differs him from women
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 That Awkward Moment When someone gets accused for something you did.
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 It’s good being a guest. You are fed better
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 prank call : "Hello, dominos? " ... "Yes, how may I help you? " ... "What`s the number to call Pizza Hut? " ;)
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 *Someone follows you on Twitter* YAY, a new follower! , *Someone follows you in real life* HOLY SH*T A STALKER
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 I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money? " I said "Well thats what M. O. M stands for"
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 If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror :D
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 I hate it when someone apologizes for talking to much. They`re just talking even more.
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 Marriage is about give and take. You better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
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 "Hey mom, can I ...? "... "No"... "But mom please .. "... "No"... "Hey dad... "
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 The akward moment when your brushing your teeth and you realize that your using someone else´s brush

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 "HEYY COME HERE ITS IMPORTANT!! " . " What", " Can you turn my light off? "
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 Sometimes you`re the windshield; sometimes you`re the bug.
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 Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
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 You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
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 That awkward moment when you scream to your friend across the room and everybody is staring.
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 I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs…
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 That Awkward Moment when santa has the same wrapping paper as your mom.
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 Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
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 There are alot of fish in the sea, but I think there’s a hole in my net :)
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 Most people are willing to work all day long in order not to think
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 Do not ask God the shortest way to heaven – he will tell you the hardest one
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 According to statistics, women spent 85% and children 15% of a family budget. The rest is wasted by men
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 I hate it when I realize i was suppose to "Shake well" my drink before consuming it. And once it`s done, it`s done! I missed out on the whole experience.
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 Flying isn`t dangerous. Crashing is what`s dangerous.
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 When your love is unrequited, you want to apologize to all who desperately loved you
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 Dear mom, Please stop trying to clean my face with your spit. Sincerely, I`m 15, not 5.
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 That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
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 I’m not looking for a second half. I was born whole/complete
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 A friend of a husband is always his wife’s enemy if he’s not her lover
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 The sole purpose of a
child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
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 There are no stupid questions, just stupid people..
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 Everything`s funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
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 I just read a list of `the 100 things to do before you die`. I`m pretty surprised `yell for help` wasn`t one of them...
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 "awhh. u have grown so much! i remember when u were just a little babyy! " "who are u!? "
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 FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block :( THE END
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 Humor makes the mechanism of idea work
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 I did it on my bed... I did it on the couch... I did it in the car... Texting is such an obsession. ;)
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 Oooooh, thats a bit too harsh. Let me put a `lol` at the end of it.
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 When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me..
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 Dear boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I`d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, Girlfriend.
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 My name is_____ and I can never find a key chain with my name on it.
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 Smart person drinks until he feels good, stupid person drinks until he feels bad
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 Home is where you can say anything you like `cause nobody listens to you anyway ;)
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 My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It’s freaking, I’ll rent a boat…..
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 Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
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 It’s better to be respected by one reasonable man than thousands of idiots
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 Families are like a bar of chocolate, mostly sweet with a few nuts...
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 A busy person is rarely visited by idlers just like flies rarely sit on a hot pot
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 Only doctors and women know how much men need lies
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 Whenever you feel your phone vibrate but it really didn`t you think there`s something wrong with you.
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 just called you FAT! OH Hell NO Gurl hold my Cake!!!
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 One spelling mistake can destroy your life. A Husband sent this to his wife: I`m having a wonderful time wish you were her.
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 *NEW TXT MSG*:hey. whats up? REPLY: nothing what u doing?.... 2 hrs later *NEW MSG*: oh sorry i was busy. "THEN WHY DID U TEXT ME?!?! "
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 I just realized that the word "short" is longer than the word "long".
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A Facebook status is an update feature which allows users to discuss their thoughts, whereabouts, or important information with their friends. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. Facebook status is one of the key interactive features on Facebook. It allows users to receive information about what their friends are doing, reading, watching or thinking, and provides opportunities for friends to comment and interact based on what is shared. All statuses in this site is in English language.